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“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
This famous quote from legendary South African President Nelson Mandela is one of my favorites. No matter what goal I’m trying to achieve, nothing seems more insurmountable than what Mandela achieved – ending apartheid in South Africa and peacefully transitioning the country to majority rule. And yet he did it. Step by step, with no guarantee that he’ll succeed.
There are many aspects that contribute to the success of an entrepreneur, but I can say with 100% certainty that self-confidence is one of them. Self-confidence allows you to overcome obstacles and survive setbacks. It’s also contagious – if you suspect in yourself and your mission, others will consider it too.
Such confidence may look like something you either have or you do not, like brown hair or an aversion to cilantro. But that is not true – it might probably be built. Here’s how to do it.
Set achievable goals
As humans, we are often overconfident in our abilities. How Harvard Business Review put it down“We want to feel good about ourselves not only because of our achievements, but also because of our aspirations. Therefore, when we evaluate our own abilities to achieve our goals, we are prone to excessive charity.
While setting long-term goals may be useful, the consequences can be harmful. False hope syndromeor setting unrealistic expectations that lead to a cycle of failure and renewed effort may result in a significant decline in self-esteem. Before you know it, the goal is gone, replaced by a much less productive feeling of self-pity and failure.
Take the technique of writing a book. I like writing, and the every day practice of morning pages is a key a part of my routine. But when I set out to write my first book, I knew it was vital to keep the pace – I had never done anything like this before, but I understood that, like starting a business, it might be a marathon, not a sprint.
Instead of sitting at my desk one day determined to write the first few chapters in one sitting, I made a plan. I created a detailed outline and set achievable goals inside it. I assessed how much I could do in a given period and tweaked it as needed until I got into a rhythm. Sometimes life got in the way – one of my kids caught the flu, or I used to be busy launching a latest product on Jotform – and I wasn’t able to stick to the schedule I had set. I gave myself some freedom by not allowing myself to make excuses.
Every time I hit one of my micro-goals, I patted myself on the back. These little achievements got here together and finally it happened – I had the whole book.
Stay motivated
When you are working towards a long-term goal, it’s natural that at some point your motivation may start to wane. We are wired to seek immediate gratification – Sigmund Freud even called it the “pleasure principle.”
To stay committed to your long-term goals, you wish to find ways to stay motivated. I like to look for books and blogs about successful people. Reading about the adversities others have overcome and their commitment to their mission, whether it’s ending apartheid or starting a business, is inspiring and keeps me going when things get difficult.
As a proud bootstrapped founder, I also find motivation in seeing the growth trend in my company. Even if you are not making huge profits yet, this uptrend is a sign that you simply’re on the right track. This is one more reason why I have at all times avoided VC money – when you make an investment, you have to watch your checking account balance shrink each month. It’s depressing. With bootstrap, this balance should increase, sending a signal that the sacrifices you are making are value it.
Appreciate your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses
There’s probably a reason you are on the path you are on. You would not try to turn out to be a chef if you hated cooking, nor would you dream of a latest SaaS product if you hated coding. It’s vital to know your strengths, but knowing your weaknesses also reduces the risk of being crippled by them.
I find that knowing my weaknesses and working on them is the best way to keep them from taking over too much of my mental space. I’m an introvert and the first time I spoke in front of a room filled with people, I used to be incredibly nervous. My first attempts weren’t perfect. But as an alternative of worrying or feeling like a failure, I practiced. And he practiced and practiced. Now I actually love giving talks. Becoming comfortable with the discomfort and risk of straying from what I knew I used to be good at allowed me to increase my self-confidence.
There are no two ways about it – if you would like to achieve something significant, there will likely be times when it should be difficult. Believing in yourself and your abilities will make the blows less painful and offer you strength to proceed.