The views expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their very own.
If you’re like me, it’s possible you’ll often wonder where our civility has gone. We encounter rude behavior on the streets and highways. Television shows attract viewers by promising high-stakes conflict. Consumers see no harm in berating a store worker who’s just doing his job.
While some people may find rude and impolite behavior amusing, rude behavior is never fun in the workplace. Whether coworkers are being rude on purpose or just plain mean, such behavior destroys productivity. Left unchecked by managers, it also causes turnover.
Because everyone may perceive uncivil behavior in another way, it is essential to establish boundaries before attempting to correct uncivility in an organizational setting.
Definition of rude behavior
Employees from diverse backgrounds and cultures populate today’s workplaces, and it might be difficult for managers to establish guidelines for appropriate behavior. Simply put, if an worker feels disrespected or unappreciated because of the way a coworker or manager interacts with them, you have a problem.
Managers who look at their phones during one-on-one meetings are rude and silently telling their employees they don’t matter. Employees who chastise coworkers who disagree with them are engaging in rude and potentially threatening behavior.
The negative impact of rude behavior
I learned firsthand how rude behavior can lead to a productivity freeze. I used to be at a conference with a latest hire where we were talking to potential clients and essential industry contacts.
Suddenly, my phone began blowing up with activity on our corporate Slack channel for senior executives. After a few minutes, without a single lull in activity on the messaging platform, I noticed it was an emergency—one that was very different from anything I could have imagined.
Two of our senior leaders, whose offices were not more than 20 feet apart, were arguing over text messages. As the argument became increasingly heated and showed no signs of being resolved, I had to leave the conference and my latest hire, who was also witnessing the whole thing in real time on Slack.
At this point, what I needed most was for my two leaders to come to an understanding and get back to productive work. I told them to walk down the hall, meet in person, and resolve the conflict. They did. And I learned my lesson.
Having emotionally charged conversations via email or text is a bad idea. People almost all the time find it easier to say things in such formats that they would not say to someone in person. Often rude remarks come when the recipient misunderstands, normally due to a lack of tone or facial features. It’s all the time higher to have face-to-face conversations when you’ll be able to’t agree on something.
Our rule is this: if you wish to write something longer than a paragraph, have a face-to-face conversation.
Establishing and Communicating Your Boundaries
After this incident, I established a code of courtesy in my company. My leaders are expected to set an example of civilized behavior. The important principles of the code include:
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Everyone deserves dignity and respect no matter their role in the company, their age, their appearance, what they did last night, or their political leanings. When you’re talking to a coworker, especially one with whom you’ve disagreed in the past, try to be polite in your remarks. Your job title isn’t a license to be patronizing; it’s a responsibility not to.
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Always assume positive intentions. When you encounter a dispute or consider an worker may have done something unsuitable, proceed slowly. Let them explain, whether it’s a coworker or a member of your team. Instead of reacting emotionally and making a tense situation worse, listen fastidiously. You may learn that you just misread the situation.
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Don’t be mad, be curious. If you are feeling tense or anxious, your body is telling you to ask more questions. When trying to defuse a dispute, your goal ought to be to clearly understand the problem through their eyes before rushing to propose a solution.
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Talk to the one who is causing the problem or can solve it. When a team member has a problem with a coworker, we encourage them to have the courage to talk to that person directly. “Side chatter” leads to gossip and misinformation. And we also remember not to make a mountain out of a molehill.
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You cannot all the time control what happens, but you’ll be able to all the time control your response to a given situation. You cannot all the time improve a situation, but you’ll be able to all the time avoid making it worse. Loud or abusive language toward one other worker can’t be tolerated.
I expect all of my employees to follow our code of courtesy and all the time be trustworthy in all the pieces they say and do. This is a critical mission for management.
Leaders set the standard for workplace culture
As CEO, I need to emphasize personal culture in my workplacewhich implies I should model the behavior I need to see. Self-monitoring may be difficult. When I believe (or realize) I have failed, I admit it and seek feedback.
It’s tough to hear honest feedback, especially from individuals who aren’t privy to all the information you have. So I’ve had to learn that as an alternative of responding to their comments straight away, I should first thank them for their courage and honesty in sharing them.
Employees won’t perceive you as a weak leader if you project a nice and self-aware personality. They will respect you for admitting your shortcomings when they see you working on self-improvement. The right managerial attitude can make a huge difference.
Maintaining a culture in the workplace requires leaders to lead by example through words and actions. More importantly, managers should hire individuals who can be a good fit for the culture of the workplace.
In my company, an worker who suits well into our culture and our clients is highly valued. But a team member who contributes to the culture in our workplace is invaluable.