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Over the past few years, I have had the honor of working with several CEOs at some of the most pivotal times in their careers. From first-time CEOs to leading organizations, through major deals, transforming struggling corporations, turning startups into unicorns, and stepping into leadership roles after replacing a founder-CEO, the changes are enormous. But one thing that continues to amaze me is their ability to maintain suspense.
To me, these leaders are like giant containers. They carry so much on their shoulders, balancing responsibilities in many areas of their lives. They often do this with extraordinary resilience and self-control.
These leaders have energy – the energy of passion, resilience, perseverance and love. It is the energy that drives their day by day decisions, the direction they set for their teams, and the inspiration they bring about to their organizations. The CEO container is filled with concern for people, passion for making an impact, enthusiasm for creating a higher future, responsibility for getting things done, the role of translating the invisible North Star, and maintaining enormous tension from the board, investors, leadership teams, economic changes, and personal roles reminiscent of being fathers, moms, sons and daughters.
What these leaders hide inside is simply extraordinary. But while they are often incredible energy givers—giving praise, making decisions, offering guidance, and guiding others—they often have difficulty receiving that very same energy in return. Therein lies the paradox.
The paradox of leadership and the challenge of receiving energy
The truth is that being a great giver doesn’t necessarily mean you are a great receiver. Many CEOs, despite their leadership skills, struggle to fill their very own cup. They give and give – whether to their teams, management, or families – but rarely take the time to replenish their very own energy reserves.
As a result, their container starts to turn out to be empty. They begin to hope that somebody will offer them the energy they need to proceed. But often the reality is completely different. It’s lonely up there.
As CEOs reach the highest levels of leadership, there are fewer places to turn for support. You may get the impression that the energy they transmit does not at all times come back in the same way. The people they lead may not have the opportunity to provide the same level of guidance, recognition, or emotional replenishment.
This struggle is not unique to CEOs. In fact, Harvard Business Review notes that many managers feel overwhelmed under pressure from leadership and emphasize how necessary it is for leaders to prioritize their very own well-being to avoid burnout.
How to replenish your leadership energy with a easy exercise
This is where my role as a coach comes into play. I help leaders stop outsourcing their power by expecting others to fill their cups. Through a easy but powerful exercise, I guide them to turn out to be a source of their very own energy.
Here’s a practice I like to recommend to CEOs who feel exhausted:
- Every morning, before you begin your day, write two sentences to yourself in a loving and supportive voice. These could also be words you would like your father, mother, management, or other person in authority had told you. What would you want someone to say to you today in a loving and caring way? Think of it as self-affirmation and encouragement to start your day.
- Do this consistently every day. Build the habit of filling your individual cup with positive, supportive words that come from inside.
- Do it when you are feeling good, but especially when you are feeling bad. Leadership is filled with ups and downs, but regardless of where you are, it is vital to grow.
- Sit consciously with these words. Allow the impact of the words to resonate in your nervous system, creating a sense of peace, strength and renewal.
This easy exercise is a type of self-care and self-love. And trust me, it won’t soften your leadership edge – it’s going to only strengthen it. By filling your cup with self-compassion, you’ll have the opportunity to maintain more compassion for others.
How your energy sets the tone for your organization
The energy you exude as a leader sets the tone for your organization. The world follows your example in the way you treat yourself. If you neglect to fill your individual cup, others will notice and it will probably begin to undermine the trust and effectiveness you have on your team.
By taking time to nurture and recharge yourself, you not only turn out to be more resilient and effective in your leadership, but you furthermore may model the importance of self-care for those you lead. After all, leadership is not just about managing others – it’s about taking good care of yourself so you may show up as the best version of yourself.
So I ask – CEO or not – how full is your container today? What are you able to do to start replenishing it? Start with this easy practice and let it work wonders for your leadership, life, and impact on the world.