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As a performance psychologist, I often meet clients who seek advice on the best mindset for success. I applaud them for recognizing the importance of psychology and mindset, and for taking the time to realize insight into these elusive concepts. The problem is that many hopeful, ambitious people assume there is one “best” solution to do things, as if selecting a mindset were like selecting a software system: make the right selection, and then rely on that approach every day without further thought or consideration.
There are tons of guides on the market that tout the formula for success that has worked for others. But what works for another person may not work for you, and what worked for you yesterday may not work for you today or tomorrow.
So what do I tell clients who ask, for example, whether it’s higher to work on your weaknesses or build on your strengths? Or whether it’s higher to spend more time focusing on achieving success or avoiding failure? Or whether it’s higher to make necessary decisions independently or together? In all cases, my answer is yes, yes, and yes.
Rather than hoping for a definitive answer to those and other questions, the clever person accepts that the only way of pondering that may guarantee consistent work is the unfixed way of pondering. The person with an unfixed way of pondering sticks to one approach in a given situation and then switches to the other side of the coin when the context requires it. Instead of finding a single, consistent way of acting, they have a tendency to contradict themselves from everyday. They realize that developing a personal psychological approach is not a “one-time” task but an ongoing effort. They embody the sentiment recorded by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay on self-reliance: “Say what you think today in hard words, and say tomorrow what tomorrow will think in hard words, even though it contradicts everything you have said today.”
Choosing Both Sides of the Coin
Let’s take a closer look at the original query: Should you’re employed on improving your weaknesses or highlight your strengths? There are solid reasons to do each. The principles of deliberate practice, widely researched by Anders Ericsson and colleagues, make it clear that to turn into an expert at anything, it is advisable focus on improvement. This requires recognizing your weaknesses, working to enhance them, and putting in 1000’s of hours in the process. So, if you have conversational skills but lack written communication, you must improve your writing. StrengthsFinder The approach developed by Tom Rath involves using your strengths moderately than focusing on your weaknesses, and there is good reason for that.
Which mindset is best? Well, each, depending on the situation. If you’ve failed at something—perhaps you’ve lost a contract or been turned down for a job opportunity—it’s a good idea to reflect on the shortcomings that led to that consequence. However, if you’re about to make an offer or interview for a position, it’d make more sense to focus on your strengths. These different contexts could be analogous to practice time versus game time for an athlete. When competitive athletes practice, they’re typically working to fill in the gaps in their game. However, when competition comes around, they don’t focus on all the gaps in their skill set. This would jeopardize their confidence and result in self-doubt. Instead, they strive for a strong belief that they have what it takes to beat the competition in front of them. Then, when the competition is over, they’ll review the game tape, refocus on what they should improve, and the cycle repeats.
Asking whether one way of pondering is higher or one other ignores the undeniable fact that circumstances change. So as a substitute of asking which way of pondering is best, ask which approach could be preferable in a given situation. Context matters.
Working on balance
The wisdom of maintaining an unsettled mindset is the central premise of an upcoming book: “Extreme Balance: The Paradoxical Rules That Make You a Champion“This volume, which I co-authored with Ben Askren and Joe De Sena, explores how champion athletes use a resilient mindset to attain greatness, and the lessons it incorporates could be easily applied to entrepreneurs and anyone striving for success. Ben is a champion wrestler, mixed martial artist, and highly decorated coach, and Joe is the founder and CEO of Spartan, a leading global endurance sports brand.
Extreme Balance provides insight into the mental battles that athletes face and the right way to use them to your advantage. We discuss a variety of false dichotomies and show you the way and when to modify from one approach to the other. Chapter titles include “Thinking You’re Good Enough and Thinking You’re Never Good Enough,” “Preparing for Anything and Expecting the Unexpected,” and “Being an Individual and Being a Team Player.” If you need to achieve that one mindset that, paradoxically, will assist you succeed in any situation, this book can assist you do just that.
Finding psychological balance is not about selecting a place in the middle of two extremes and staying there. It is a continuous technique of adapting your approach to the demands of the situation. It is challenging, but if it were, everyone would do it.