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I’ve all the time believed this: the higher you know your team members, the easier it should be to provide them the support and freedom they should succeed in their work.
At my last company, all of my direct reports had been with me for at least eight years. We’ve been through a lot of our lives together. My team members lost relations, had legal and fertility issues, got married, moved and divorced, and I saw all of it. I also saw how all of this affected their work in the office – some were temporary changes, some were everlasting.
These experiences also shaped the way I now run FutureFund, the company free fundraising platform for K-12 school groups I founded. Here’s my advice on easy methods to build strong working relationships to set your organization up for higher teamwork and greater success.
You have to know where people come from
Some managers don’t desire to know about their team’s personal lives and experiences, but I think that is a mistake. Asking the right questions and getting people to open up not only builds trust; it also helps them understand what they are working on and what they should work more efficiently.
Here’s an example: I had my first manager who had recently been promoted, but his performance began declining shortly thereafter.
There are two ways to deal with this case when it happens. The first is to provide an ultimatum. You tell the individual that their performance needs to enhance or that they need to go away.
Second, ask them if the whole lot is OK. That’s what I did and he told me the cancer had come back. He was a veteran who was exposed to unpleasant events in Iraq, which caused him to have health problems. Suddenly the proven fact that his performance was declining wasn’t a problem anymore. Our priority was to provide him the support he needed – and by helping him, we could help the company.
10 years later, this worker was still with us and his work was great again. But I might never have been capable of tell if I had taken a different approach.
Truly attending to know someone means asking the right questions and listening fastidiously to the answers. And it’s never too early to start out – in fact, you may (and should) start doing it the moment you sit right down to interview a candidate.
It’s not about micromanagement
Knowing your people is not the same as following them. Breathe into someone’s neck and they may feel offended. But show them you care and you’ll make them stronger. It’s a easy difference, but an necessary one.
Mentoring plays a key role in this process. I’ve written extensively about the role of mentors in business, but the key is to see yourself as a coach – someone who is actively involved in your team’s success.
Adopting this angle will make your comments constructive reasonably than punitive, and reassure your direct reports that you simply have their best interests at heart. However, it also requires some sensitivity on your part.
Vulnerability breeds trust and transparency
One aspect of effective mentoring is portraying yourself as someone people trust. Not only do you have to be willing to learn about their lives, but chances are you’ll also have to feel comfortable opening up about your life.
When we come together as an executive team, one of the things we do is share a personal story. It’s often about family and often involves a personal struggle. It may even result in tears.
It’s not structured or forced. We just go around and everyone has the opportunity to share as much as they need. It’s the best job I’ve ever taken to feel near the people I work with.
Everyone shows their vulnerability by sharing something private that takes a lot of courage. It also creates a level of understanding, respect and friendship that I have never seen in anything we have done.
Strong working relationships bring immeasurable advantages
When you’re taking the time to actually get to know your team and allow them to get to know you, amazing things can occur. Much of it has value that will be easily quantified: a higher understanding of each person’s capabilities, opportunities for more targeted mentoring and coaching, and a sense of the risks people are willing to take.
But there are also advantages that can not be measured, resembling loyalty and trust. People don’t just offer you this stuff if you, as an employer, check enough boxes. They have to feel that you simply mean something to them.
Ask the right questions, take heed to the answers and do not be afraid to open up and share your life too. This may take you outside of your comfort zone at first, but as any successful leader will let you know, that is where growth happens.